If I were a puppet, what would my strings be attached to?
When I was growing up, it was all about chasing good grades, then it was getting to know the popular kids and being part of the “in” crowd. Slowly, that matured and I found myself craving for companionship. Sad to say, everything that I had chased after, society is still chasing with such fervour (and unfortunately, I’m not the exception). The funny thing about it all is once you’ve attained it, you’re back for round 2 of chasing it again. And it winds into this endless race, e.g. You chase good grades, you get married, you have kids, and you egg your kids to chase good grades.. the cycle just never ends does it?
I’m reminded of a testimony I read the night before, of how Dr. Richard Teo said something that still rings in my mind. As I paraphrase (due to my laziness and heck of a memory), the saddest people who struggling through life are not the poor people (in fact they are the the most content people I would say), they are the well-to-do and famous. It’s sad to realise how much emptiness materialism brings. Yes, you can say that when you finally get that Prada bag you’ve always wanted, or the score you’ve been striving for, or even the wife you’ve always envisioned, you feel a sense of fulfillment and happiness. But.. how long does that last for? Is it true that the void in our hearts are always gonna need a refilling? when is it ever enough?
A personal story comes to mind, I caught myself walking out of a relationship 2 years ago, wondering what was wrong with me. I had everything I ever wanted; a person to lean on, a good university education, good friends, popularity and more. But yet when my relationship fell apart, so did my world. And it’s an irony how that relationship was my everything, when all we did was chase for happiness, reach it, get back into a state of stagnation and seek for more excitement that could possibly spur on the commitment we had. It was such an endless cycle of.. tiredness. We grew weary, but the need to find that happiness, in something we poured all our hearts into, seemed to overshadow the very problems we had. But what got me back up after the break up, was this simple thought, “the girl I was back when I was serving God so fervently, would have never gotten herself into this”.
Truthfully, when I look back now, I would say the younger me probably would have; I was so full on about God, and yet my discipline had fallen short, hence my 5 year absence from the church had ensued. However, 2 years ago, that sentence was enough to make me “see the light”. After 2 years, albeit the struggles that happened in between, and the many mistakes and regrets I had caught myself in, I’m glad to say that who I am today, I wouldn’t trade it for anything (hmm maybe a chanel.. just kidding). I guess, I’ve found the right thing to pursue. And the irony in life is that it’s not about chasing the 5/6Cs or the goals of your heart, but just chasing that one God and what’s on his heart. Just doing all things to glorify His name, serve his people and being obedient to His voice and word. Somehow, this creates an effect wherein everything else would just seem to lose purpose and your only purpose is to please Him. Isn’t it another form of chasing, you might say. Well, the difference is this, my God gives me joy far greater then any joy. My God sees me through, even when I fail to make lemonades out of the lemons life has given me (chants “cliche”). And He, is a faithful God, through the good and bad times. Can your prada beat that? (teehee)
I’m pretty sure one day I’ll look back and comment on this very post. And I hope it’ll go along the lines of “psshh.. what was I even thinking, that was just the beginning of it all”. So, it I were a puppet, my strings would be attached to “Father, spirit and Son” a.k.a. my great and might God.