Life's Antics

I’m glad I documented some of my thoughts here. It’s good to be brought back to my feet amidst the crazy studying during this examination period. I had a really bad paper yesterday but it was surprisingly.. calming. God just spoke to me at the end of my paper and reminded me of his plans for me. It was like a gentle breeze that blew away all forms of fear and lost hope. 

My God is big.

BRAIN!! STOP THINKING TOO MUCH! FOCUS ON WHAT NEEDS TO BE FOCUSED ON INSTEAD OF THINGS THAT WOULD END UP HURTING YOUUUUUU!!

Ephesians 2:10 

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God had prepared in advance for us to do

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It’s refreshing, meditating on words like these, remembering that we’re of a special type of species, not made for eating and sleeping or excelling in school. But made with the signature of God for his works.

My journey through the book “In the Grip of Grace” has brought me to a clearer understanding on my relationship with God. Yes, indeed I’ve always known this, but this book has brought about a tiny reminder, a reroute to a simplistic basic that our purpose is in God.

I’ve placed my purpose in many a thing.. be it relationships with family and friends or materialistic items or my future career and even my love for the land of the free, America. These all seemed to fail, or at least brought about a temporary form of meaning to life. 

Its like life is the choppy seas, and it’s either you stand on board a wooden plank, that is not stable, moves with the waves and gives you sea sickness, or you stand on a platform, rooted to the ground and unaffected by the choppy waves. On the wooden plank (purpose in everything else around you) things are uncertain. It might get engulfed by the waves, or overturned by the tides. It always ends up failing or disappointing. However, on the platform (purpose in God), the waves might rise above to your knees or get hit you hard, but that platform would not waver nor does it let you topple over or fall. It’s rooted enough to keep you stable, and tall enough to tide you through the storm.

Hence, at the end of the day, one thing stands.. My Purpose is in God.

We all need companionship. Be it a best friend or a boyfriend or even a group of friends, we need these relationships. But sometimes we let it take precedence over a lot of other important factors and we end up letting it be the basis of our entire existence.

It took me a good couple of years to realise that person described above was me. Maybe there’s a lil part of me that still yearns for such a “security” blanket. But true security is found in stable identity, and each of us has derived or is still deriving our own identity through different means. I’m glad I learnt, albeit the hardness of it all, where my identity should be found in. Unfailing love that is perfect and drives out all fear, that’s where I’m found. 

May this loneliness that sometimes sneak into my heart in the depths of the night not conquer my mind and lead me on a downward spiral again.

Let 2012 and all the rest of the years of my life be a willing sacrifice of love, faith and hope unto you, my unwavering, perfect and steady lover, friend and Father.

God bless.

Your girl is lovely Hubbell..

I’m glad for you.

Well this tumblr has gotten a little dusty and since it has, i’ll just update it a lil :)

With the past topsy turvy month in view, I’ve been pondering about life, love and everything in between. So my conclusion is I NEED TO GET A BOOK. a legit one. not those self help kind but something I can escape into in whilst battling my own baffling internal wars.

Off topic, I’ve been mesmerised by Jlin and how he’s got such fire for the Lord. It’s the kind of fire that draws you to him. Maybe that’s what it’s like.. being a person after God’s heart. maybe someday that would be me. maybe.

<3 money well spent

Yesterday I counted down with one of the best people and friends in kr; bra darren yu wei valmond and meimei. Savoured the best ramen before scouring through the partially cordoned off city hall/esplanade area for the perfect view. I must say the place we chose was almost perfect. It had this christmas road decor in front of it, but it did a wonderful effect to the fireworks after the countdown. We had penned down our regrets and achievements of 2010, and our resolution for 2011 moments before the sky burst with colourful sparkles, was really magical :) Looking back, 2010 was really so topsy turvy, I’m surprised I emerged unscathed and possibly stronger. 21 is really a remarkable age. You start seeing things so differently, people start treating you like an adult and you have to start behaving like one. You start facing situations differently and somehow things you never thought you’d ever understand starts unraveling right before your very eyes. Also for one, I saw my first >cap3 and in it hope. 2010 wasn’t the most remarkable or life changing for me. It was almost plain, albeit all the pain it caused.

omg i wanttt :(

i wanttttttttt

(via dirtylittlestylewhoree)